Ball Don't Lie Sun Feb 14, 2010 12:30 am EST
Ranking All-Star Saturday night's pathetic dunk contest
By J.E. Skeets
1. DeMar DeRozan's(notes) Off-The-Side-Of-The-Backboard Windmill Oop (First round, second dunk): Hands down — and 10's up — the best dunk of Saturday Night. Is that saying much? No. But still, it was a nice remix of Dwight Howard's 2009 throwdown in Phoenix.
2. Nate Robinson's(notes) Off-The-Glass Reverse Pump (Finals, second round): For a guy 5-foot-9, Nate sure gets a lot of power out of his dunks. This one was the equivalent of Spud Webb meeting Harold "Baby Jordan" Miner in a bolwing alley. And oh, the celebratory pompons were a nice touch.
3. DeRozan's Thru-The-Legs Baseline Reverse (First round, first dunk): For approximately 30 seconds or so, the 2010 Dunk Contest looked pretty damn promising. "If I could turn back time ..." — Cher
4. DeRozan's Over-The-Sonny (Finals, first dunk): Correct me if I'm wrong, but this was an original dunk, right? Air Canada leaped Raptors teammate Sonny Weems(notes) — who checks in at a healthy 6-foot-6 — before crushin' the oop off the glass. Great timing. How in the world did DeRozan blow this comp? Read on.
5. Nate Robinson's Off-The-Bounce 270-ish (First round, second dunk): "C'mon, Gallo!"
6. Robinson's Off-The-Bounce, Two-Hand Windmill (First round, first dunk): An excellent first dunk, which would've scored higher had it not taken him three tries.
7. Shannon Brown's(notes) Sky High Oop (First round, second dunk): I can't believe I just ranked this as the seventh best dunk of the night. On behalf of the NBA, I'm sorry.
8. DeRozan's Two-Hand Windmill (Finals, second dunk): The Rook had this contest in the bag. All he had to do for his final dunk was throw something between the legs, maybe catch an oop from Weems, and the title was his. Instead, DeRozan took off from four-feet over the foul line and put a cap on one of the lamest dunk contests ever. Sigh.
9. Robinson's Off-The-Bounce, Two-Hander (Finals, first dunk): Nate really should've kept trying that between-the-legs monster from under the net. Well, that, or jumped over those four Cowboys cheerleaders.
10. Brown's Mid-Air Switch (First round, first dunk): Shannon! Why, oh why, didn't you take a few more cracks at that Terence Stansbury Statue of Liberty-like dunk you were attempting? Instead, you panicked, called an audible and, well, did something Larry Brown would've been ashamed of. Not cool.
11. Gerald Wallace's(notes) Off-The-Bounce, Um, Game Dunk (First round, second dunk): C'mon, be honest, you thought Bobcats assist-man Flip Murray(notes) was going to pull it back to shoot the three. (Note: He should've — it would've earned Wallace a much better score.)
12. Wallace's Lame Reverse Jackknife (First round, first dunk): Maybe the NBA should pick players that want to be in the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest. Just an idea.