Hilarious Recollections

[LBF]

I'm sure eveyone has a memory/story from their life they love to tell or they found hilarious or were shocked by. So, I figured why not make a thread specifically for story sharing, it could even be a joke you heard/read.

i'll start off with this one that I found hilarious and ballsy

So, we've all had at least one super hot teacher in school that was mesmerising and worth fantasizing over. Well, in High school there was this one smokin' hot teacher, young, horny teenagers we all thought we had a chance with her, well not acting anywhere past thoughts and fantasies, probably realizing how unrealistic it was.

However, there was this one kid who was crazy enough to act further on his fantasies. So, one day the teacher comes out to get something from her car at lunch and this kid has painted on her windshield "you're hot fuck me".

He ends up getting charged with sexual harrasment and has to pay for her new winshield. Which teaches the lesson to not act on impulse.

[NoPropsneeded]

lol must suck for that kid. Here i'll give you one, During a junior boys basketball game at our school last year. So it was the other teams possession and they inbound it and start dribbling it up court with like 20 seconds left. Some of my friends on the bench start counting down from 5 which made the kid dribbling the ball up think that time was expiring, so he throws up a hailmary from half court with still like 15 seconds left on the clock and turns it over. What a dumbass, did he even think to look at the clock?

[LBF]

ya thats pretty douchey. must of been fuckin hilarious to be tuere though

[heinz57]

when me and my buddy were in romania... we were walking down the street and some dude comes up to us and is like "hey, would you like come see free music show"... and points us to some building that actually had a fair amount of people coming in and out... so we figured it was legit and dude wasnt going to try to ass rape us or anything..

we go in, and romanian guy tells us it's a concert for a church.... but we figure, whatever.. might be worth a few laughs..

it was pretty horrific

but then... this boyband looking group gets on stage.. song starts... sounds like the Thong Song... me and my buddy are confused...

now, these guys clearly dont know english... or understand the words to the song.... yet, felt the need to insert "Christos" into the song willy nilly... so what we hear is "Christos make your booty go BADONK BADONK"... it took everything in our power to keep ourselves from breaking out laughing...

anyways... afterwards, when we're leaving... same dude that roped us in is talking to us in the lobby... laying on the generic christian BS in his eastern eurpoean accent... you know "when you die, do you think you'll be going to heaven or hell" kinda stuff... but then he's like, "you should meet our pastor... he is from Canada too"

brings over the priest... he introduces himself, plays along with romanian dude for a bit.. then romanian guy leaves and the priest goes "ya.. these romanians lay on the jesus stuff a little too thick... have you guys ever been to the Wheat Sheaf in Toronto? I love that bar"

[slaw]

Lots from my undergrad days:

- A guy from a rival house crapped in a bag and put it in our dryer while we were away. We had to replace the dryer and basically have the entire house fumigated. Got us good.

- We held an annual keg party but the planner sent us an ABBA cover band. They had to play behind chicken wire and they lasted about 2 songs before fleeing. They got paid in beer and were none to pleased.

- My last year a new guy came and his head was tiny compared to the rest of his body. For some reason the guys started calling him Penishead. After 8 months I never knew his real name. Still don't. He was just Penishead. Can you imagine everyone calling you Penishead for an entire year? Penishead was a good guy though.

- A guy I went to school with (a current and prominent Member of Parliament) got wasted and couldn't walk home one night so he took a bike off some lawn. When he got home he got spray paint, put the bike up against his fence, and spray painted it. He woke up on his front lawn with his 80-year old neighbour kicking him asking him what the hell he spray painted her fence for. He tried to deny it but the can was stuck to his hand, he was covered in paint, and a perfect outline of his half-painted, stolen bike was on her front fence....

[Doc]

Too many stories to tell, but back in the day during my barhopping days a couple of my close buddies and I whenever we went out used to pretend we were a someone special or notable (i.e. group of athletes, musicians, astronauts, etc.) for shits & giggles. The Canadian Bobsled team worked wonders on more than one occasion. (keep in mind this was just before we left for the Salt Lake Olympics)

But the best is when we pretended to be a boy band one night. Totally loaded and stoned beyond words, but hands down one of the best night's we had as a group of buds. Needless to say we all had our fair share of drinks poured on us and arms punched by the chicks we were trying to pick-up, but the fact we had some of the more naive ones hooked was priceless. Looking back it was entirely ridiculous, but it wouldn't take it back. Fun times.

[heinz57]

Too many stories to tell, but back in the day during my barhopping days a couple of my close buddies and I whenever we went out used to pretend we were a someone special or notable (i.e. group of athletes, musicians, astronauts, etc.) for shits & giggles. The Canadian Bobsled team worked wonders on more than one occasion. (keep in mind this was just before we left for the Salt Lake Olympics)

But the best is when we pretended to be a boy band one night. Totally loaded and stoned beyond words, but hands down one of the best night's we had as a group of buds. Needless to say we all had our fair share of drinks poured on us and arms punched by the chicks we were trying to pick-up, but the fact we had some of the more naive ones hooked was priceless. Looking back it was entirely ridiculous, but it wouldn't take it back. Fun times.

lol... i play a similar game.... but strictly in two places... strip joints and taxis... the game is to make up the most ridiculous identity without the stripper/taxi driver giving you the WTF look

i've found the trick is always to start with something mundane.... if you're at a peeler near the airport... you're a pilot... leave it at that... when they ask you which airline you work for, then you embelish it with some "oh, i dont work for an airline. i'm a personal pilot.".. leave it at that... let them dig... resist the digging...

and suddenly you're Stephen Hawking's personal pilot.....

the key is who you pick...

strippers ain't got no clue who Stephen Hawking is.

[LBF]

ha, one time quite a few years back, we use to amke prank calls at my cousins house and among the many other hilarious ones the one that sticks in my head is when. my cousin suggested we have a contest, where we call different hotels(it was like 1 in the morning and they were the only ones not going to message).

anyways, so were just topping eachother coming up with more and more ridiculous things to tell to the clerk. nobody can keep a straight face for more than 2 minutes. so, it's my turn and i end up calling some shitty motel and this paki answers and i'm like "oh hi how much for a room" he gives an answer and is start asking him about the room and i'm just asking about the most specific things like can i get one lamp from one room and another from another,but, not the same colour" and shit like that.

then i ask him if i can pay with cash through the phone and if i can give him a mcdonalds gift card as payment and ridiculous shit as payment and as i'm doing this i'm changing my accent to a point of where i'm basically immitate the guy and he's fully unaware, oblivious to the max and almost 10 min has already gone by.

then all of the sudden this guys talking to me and i go wait a minute did you just drop an f-bomb on me? he's denying it which ftr he totally didnt even come close to swearing and i cahnge my voice to a southern woman and tell him that he just dropped an f-bomb on a preganant woman and that my baby has nos bussiness hearing that and that he has just ruined my virgin ears and he's denying it and apologizing and saying he would never do such a thing and i'm starting to crack up because it's on speaker and everyone else is pissing their pants on the floor. so, i'm like you know what you asshole, my baby says fuck you, and when my husband geddy lee comes home i'm going to tell him and he;s like "oh please, i so sorry" and i was like did you just call me a whore, oh that is the last straw douchebag, i'm calling my husband right now and he's going to come over there and beat the shit out of you. goodbye ya fucker.

i have another one too, where i prank called my buddy's house and his bitchy step mom answered and she's like "oh, he's not home can i take a message and so i start just relling off these lines from the oturettes guy. i talk to my buddy a couple days later and he got in so much shit. he's like oh apparently someone called and asked for me and then just started going off shouting and swearing at my step-mom and my dad nearly popped a blood vessel. i started howling and told him it was me, ya his dad didn't like me from then on out and well after a misunderstanding with the cops a year or so later his dad pretty much forbid him from hangin around me and i ended up losing my best friend at the time. but, it was totally worth it.

oh, how i miss prank calling i haven't done one in forever.

[Axel]

I deleted some junk posts, but this is a pretty funny thread and deserves a bump.

[Axel]

Random Adventures stories….hmmm…

While living in South Korea, a lot of restaurants don’t have bathrooms, instead there are public washrooms everywhere. Usually isn’t a big deal but when you are drinking, hard to always make it to one. So one night, my buddy and I are out drinking and eating and after we leave I decide I need to take a leak. There is no bathroom nearby so I decide to just go into an alley beside the 7/11. So I walk down into the alley, and at the end of the alley, one side is lit up from a street light and the other corner is dark. So I decide to pee in the dark corner. Turns out the dark corner was actually a concrete staircase (down) and I end up ass over tea-kettle. I come out of the alley with blood all down one side of my face and huge gash on the top of my head. So we went to the hospital (drunk and bleeding) after my buddy runs into 7/11 for smokes and we end up spending the rest of the night getting my head x-rayed and stitched up. The doctor was all good about it and let us take pics while my skull was being x-rayed like no biggie.


My university had 3 residences, and they are all right next to the football turf in a U-Shape around one end-zone. After one snow storm, we went out with cafeteria trays and wrote in giant letters “For Hot Sex Call 4046” – which was my buddies residence room phone extension. The letters were massive (4046 took up the entire end zone) and you could see it from every floor in res and even some classrooms and the cafeteria. He had to disconnect his phone for weeks before the drunk calls at all hours of the night would stop.