Home for the Holidays Karaokee Kontest

[paul]

I won

[Kapono]

Whoever picked the finalists is brain dead. Just kidding! But really.

[James Ballswin (Realizar)]

I know this isn't raptors-related, but it's still Christmas in heaven for Eazy-E and all our fallen ghetto soldiers and ghetto hoes!

MERRY MOTHAFUCKIN' X-MAS, BITCHES!!

[Apollo]

"Fleeced by DeMar" BY APOLLO
[To the Christmas jingle "Feliz Navidad"]

Fleeced by DeMar
Fleeced by DeMar
Fleeced by DeMar
The Raptors should have drafted Brandon Jennings but now here we are.

Fleeced by DeMar
Fleeced by DeMar
Fleeced by DeMar
The Raptors should have drafted Brandon Jennings but now here we are.

Milwaukee is merry because of us
Milwaukee is merry because of us
Milwaukee is merry because of us
Because Colangelo got fleeced by DeMar!


Just kidding guys. Sorry DeMar, love you man.

[Liston]

Free Amir


Free Amir
http://liston.ca/FreeAmir.pdf
Set to The First Noel
See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdP9qKxvWh0 for inspiration

Fre-eee Am-ir, the fans did say
Our rebounding star we need to play
Every night he shows his hustle and D
Which every fan can clearly see
Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
Born is the King of rebounding.

The fans looked up and saw a star
Even if his shot is not up to par
And his shot blocking brings the cheers
And so grows the love for our man Amir
Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
Born is the King of rebounding.

And by the light of that same star
Three Wise men know he can go far
Plenty of minutes was their intent
Running down the ball wherever it went.
Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
Born is the King of rebounding.

This star is fourth in ORB percentage
He rarely fails to impress on his stage
His highlight dunks brings down loud howls
Such that we forgive his too many fouls
Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
Born is the King of rebounding.

His on court hustle is bound to rub off
Amir is one who will never be soft
He breeds fear on D just with his presence
He’s worth more than gold, myrrh and frankincense.
Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
Born is the King of rebounding.

Then let us all finally say
Amir is one baller who can really play
The Raptors’ fans can easily see
Amir Johnson needs to be set free
Amir, Amir, Amir, Amir
Born is the King of rebounding.

[huskies2raps]

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
(JJ the Hard-Nosed Raptor)

In light of Jarret Jack's recent play as a starter, I saw this as a fitting tribute to his play and hope it continues throughout the rest of the season; ENJOY:

You know Chauncey and Childs
And Williams and Alston,
Jose and TJ
And Stoudamire and Mike James.
But do you recall..............
The most hard-nosed point guard of all?

JJ, the hard-nosed Raptor,
he makes the offence go.
And if you ever saw him,
You would say he's a solid pro
All of the other starters,
used to see Jose call out the plays,
Triano never went to Jarred,
to start in any of the previous games.
Then with Jose came a hip injury,
Triano came to say:
"Jarret with your game so tight,
won't you run my offence tonight?"
Then Raptor-nation loved him
as they shouted out with glee:
"JJ the hard-nosed Raptor,
you'll go down in Raptor’s history!"

Let's go Raptors!

[Kapono]

Ten inaudible drummers

Yes!

[samleguk]

Twelve Days of Dance Pak

On the ______ day of Christmas, the Dance Pak gave to me...
Twelve dudes saying "HELLO!"
Eleven 90s dance hits
Ten inaudible drummers
Nine t-shirt bazookas
Eight pointless DJs
Seven lycra short-shorts
Six flags that spell "Raptors"
Five golllden weeeaves
Four box steps
Three hair flips
Two hoop earrings
And a fine dose of choreography

[rts]

To the tune of Last Christmas

Last season I gave them my heart
But on opening day, they gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to a team that's special

This year we thought Hedo was our guy
Mr.4th quarter doesn't even try
Ask Van Gundy, all he eats is candy
Ah well, at least he tries more than Bargnani

Saw the training camp special,
when Triano said Top 6 D, I thought he meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
And if another pick's dealt, I'd know he'll fool me again

Last season I gave them my heart
But on opening day, they gave it away (gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to a team that's special (special)

Last season I gave them my heart
But on opening day, they gave it away (gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to a team that's special (special)

2010's coming, is Bosh our guy?
Miami, NY, where will Chris Bosh fly?
Jose Calderon, this man is a pylon
Fuck, this core is softer than nylon

Is Antoine going to learn his part
Beli is garbage, this team has no heart
Ooh, ooh, now I'm ready for John Wall
They'll never fool me again

Last season I gave them my heart
But on opening day, they gave it away (gave it away)
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to a team that's special (special)

[Chi of Steel]

Raptors Wonderland (sung to Winter Wonderland)

Shot clocks wane, are you listening
In the lane, refs are whistling
A beautiful sight
Raps played D tonight
Shocking if the effort never ends

Gone away are the boo birds
For a day 'til the tide turns
Hedo flings a long bomb
Andrea goes up strong
Shocking if the streak never ends

Let's not meddle with the coach's gameplan
Just pretend that he is Larry Brown
He'll say “Pack the house!” We'll say “Hey, man!
But you'll contest the shots from downtown?”

Later on, we'll desire
Quit the team, unretire
Debate all the trades
Demand that they're made
Shocking if the panic ever ends

In the future, build around Derozan
And pretend that it's a slam dunk crown
We'll have lots of fun then, I'm supposin'
Until we drive that kid outta town

When we win, ain't it thrilling
Playoff games, gets top billing
We'll holler and cheer, year after year
Shocking if the passion ever ends

[Doc]

LMAO ... these are so fantastic. Great job guys. I've been laughing my arse off for a couple days now. Not to mention have also started humming some of the tunes.

[Kapono]

To the tune of "Here comes Sanata Clause"

There stands Rasho N.

There stands Rasho N., there stands Rasho N.,
Camping in the key
Jose and Marco and all his bitches
Giving up the threes
Mesh is swishing, fans are crying
Just an ordinary day
Realgm has to change their pants
When Rasho says “Let’s NBA”!


There goes Rasho N., there goes Rasho N.,
Jogging to the net
He’s got the knees of a very old man
But he’s still our trusty vet
Watch him move at a snails pace
He just might leave his feet
Rasho N. lost his virginity
While you were at your Mother’s teet!

There sits Rasho N., there sits Rasho N.,
Resting on the bench
He’s so deep and quiet
His mind’s like an ocean trench
Heaven knows we’re Rasho’s children
Our Mother’s could not resist
Rumour says under his beard
He has an extra fist!

There walks Rasho N., there walks Rasho N.,
Tto the lockeroom
When Jose hands out gatorade
Rasho beats him with a broom
Hungry children will find food
If we pray to Rasho at night
Rasho N. wears no left shoes
Because Rasho is always right!

[barkingclam]

To the tune of Christmas Time Is Here

Marcus Banks is here
Injuries must be near
And Calderon sits by the bench
And Raps fans shed a tear

Three-pointers in the air
Turnovers everywhere
A combo guard that couldn’t hit
The broad side of a bear

Banks looks in the air
Ticket holders everywhere
He sits when the Raptors win
But his suit is debonair

Marcus Banks is here
He hears a Bronx cheer
This is what the Raptors call
The garbage-ist minutes of the year
This is what the Raptors call
The garbage-ist minutes of the year

[samleguk]

Tight Defense

I'm... dreaming of a tight... defense
Just like the Raps I used to know
When the quick Doug Christie
And big, tough A.D.
Had wives tougher than Rasho...

(Vince's mom was pretty tough too.)

I'm... dreaming of a tight... defense
With every night the Raptors blow
May Bargnani box out tonight
And may all our defenses be tight

I'm... dreaming of a tight... defense
Just like the Raps I used to know
Back when Oakley's elbows
Were Dave Semenkos
For Vince, Trace and Muggsy Bogues

(It was also important to pay him on time.)

I'm... dreaming of a tight... defense
Just like one B. Colangelo
May our shooters learn how to fiiiight
And may all our defenses be tight

[samleguk]

You better not...

You better not drive
You better not kick
You better not rebound
That isn't our schtick
Not how ball is played in... this town.

You better not rotate
No talkin' on D
Don't get back in transition
Hey you passed up a three!?
Not how ball is played in... this town.

And now a word of warning
If you don't play like you're supposedta
Although it pains us to have to say,
We'll break your shin like Garbajosa

So,
You better not drive
You better not kick
You better not rebound
That isn't our schtick
Not how ball is played in... this town.
(reprise last line)
If you wanna do that shit, go and play in Cleveland with Lebron.
Whoooooa yeeeaaahhh!